J.T. Brooks
28 October 2021
A Very Interesting Holiday
I woke up this morning to a funny gobbling sound. I figured it was the kids making turkey sounds. Well, I was wrong. It was the cat. (Because that’s not the least bit odd) I was staring at him trying to comprehend what my senses were taking in, when he just opened his mouth and gobbled at me. So, me being me, I asked him how he started gobbling. To my amazement he said he couldn't help it. He told me that he got on the stove and ate some of the Thanksgiving turkey while I wasn't looking. Then he got these stupid hiccups.(what turkey…it was still in the freezer, or it should be)
I had to go into the kitchen to see what he was talking about, because I didn’t even start the turkey yet. Well, sure enough, there was a turkey all roasted and brown sitting on the stove. To make things more unbelievable, the dog was standing there with a baster, just basting the turkey like it was normal.
I went back to my room to see if I was still there and not really walking around the house. Maybe this was all just a bad dream, but I wasn't still in bed asleep. So I went back to the kitchen and asked the dog why he was basting the turkey. Well, of course, in my house of smart alecks, he said thats how it stays moist, and he added a ‘duh’ at the end for emphasis.(I hope the dog doesn’t go through a snarky teen phase too)
I asked the dog why he and the cat cooked the turkey. The answer was not what I would expect.(of course) They cooked the turkey, because it jumped out of the freezer and started to dance around on roller skates like it was the ice-capades.(ummm…what) So, I just chuckled, shook my head and went to shower and dress.
When I got back to the kitchen the dog and cat were chatting over coffee like any couple would.(this is not a weird thing at all) I asked what else was on the menu for dinner and they laughed and said they had no idea. They ate the turkey because it sounded like a good breakfast.(evidently it was delicious.I wouldn’t know because they didn’t share)Guess I will have to think up something else to have for Thanksgiving besides turkey.
When the rest of the family got home and I explained to them what happened, they called the mental ward to have me committed.(because I finally went round the bend)But then, they walked into the kitchen and decided we were all delusional.(obviously I am not as nuts as they think)So, they called the mental ward back and said that they dialed the wrong number and no one needed to be committed.(because, really how could you explain everyone seeing this)
We couldn't figure out how to get the dog and cat back to normal and the cat had those hiccups again.(hearing a cat gobble was really weird)We tried to scare them out of him, but it just scared him. He tried to run but kept slipping on the hardwood floor. It was kinda funny, but sad at the same time cause he still had the hiccups.(he did finally get traction and ran out of the room to hide, and he lost the hiccups)
Any-who, we decided we'd have hamburgers and hot dogs for Thanksgiving dinner since the turkey was no more.(just what we always wanted to eat for Thanksgiving dinner)We went to bed with the cat and dog standing in the kitchen drinking coffee and debating the merits of chasing your tail or a laser light.(‘cause why not have a debate about that)
The next morning we woke up and the dog and cat were back to normal, but it was the day before Christmas! (Oh boy…)
